Elizabeth Nolan Brown // Blog

media. music. feminism. food. city-dwelling. story-telling. and other things.

Shocking—Men looking for purely sexual relationship unlikely to be happy in non-sexual relationship

with one comment

Over at Ladyblog, Fausta Wertz posted about a UK Telegraph article on dating and sex:

A new study shows that refusing to sleep with a partner on the first date could be one of the keys to making a successful match.

Researchers used a mathematical model to show that more reliable men were willing to wait longer before having sex for the first time. By contrast, less suitable men were not as likely to continue dating.

The article is titled “Women who refuse sex on first date ‘increase chances of finding a good man.’ Subtitle: Playing hard to get increases a woman’s chance of finding a “good” man, mathematicians have found.

Um, I think this is definitely a flawed way of interpreting the “study” data.

A male is assumed to always want to mate with a female, but a good male is more willing to pay the cost of a long courtship in order to claim the prize of mating,” the study’s author says. Okay, sure—men who aren’t determined to have sex right away tend to be better long-term mates than those who see sex as a first date requirement. That makes sense—someone who refuses to date someone who won’t put out right away is probably either a) a pushy, coercive jerk, or b) just simply not looking for anything other than a sexual relationship at the time. Neither of which are conducive to long-term bliss.

BUT, that says nothing about situations in which the man would be willing to wait longer for sex, but the woman doesn’t necessarily want to. Of course it’s being reported and blogged about as if its a definitive indicator that early sexual activity between two people is a sign that a coupling is doomed to fail. But the “mathematical” model doesn’t take into account any statistics on staying together or not for couples where both parties wanted to have sex “on the first date” or relatively right away.


Written by Elizabeth

January 19, 2009 at 5:05 pm

One Response

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  1. Any boys out there looking for love add me on flexilydz@hotmail.co.uk x x x


    March 25, 2009 at 10:06 am

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